I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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