so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
