evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
