Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize