i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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