Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
