I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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