apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
