everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Randomize
