I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
