I need help removing her.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
