please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
