How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
