we're blogging at a bar
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
