There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
