Christians are straight up FREAKS
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
