In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
