Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
