haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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