bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
