can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
