16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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