How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
