Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
