Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
