i barfeds in our rink
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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