This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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