So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
