i don't like sucking hair
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
