I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
