So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
