I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You've changed since you got that strap on
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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