I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
