You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
