The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
