He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
