Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
