We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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