i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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