WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
