you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
