He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
