6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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