So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
