I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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