I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
