He asked to "fluff my boner.."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
