This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
