I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm at about main and main street
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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