you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize