Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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