Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
