Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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