Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
