Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
