She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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