covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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