some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
