i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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