meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The struggles of a small town man whore
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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