what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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