Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize