Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize