Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize