so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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