dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
