I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
