How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize